Assalam Alaikum sisters. How are you today?
Today I really want to share the advice I would give to my younger self or to my younger Muslim sister. I’m an only child so I don't have any older siblings or any older sisters, my mum worked really hard when I was in my teen years, so we didn't really get to spend much time together. I didn't really have anyone to look up to, and those where the years when I was really beginning to practise the faith, so I really tried to form myself around who I thought Allah wanted me to be.
Which was really great but what would have also helped ,was if I had mentors or role models I could look up to so that I could emulate and they could guide me towards the type of life I wanted to live. You know, I made some mistakes in getting the life I wanted because there was no guide.
So I wanted to share with you today to help any young girl, a young Muslim hijabi, or young girl wearing the headscarf out there, trying to decide who she wants to be and what type of life she wants to live.
- My first advice would be to plan your life. They say if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. And you can’t really fail at life per sue, but if you don't have any real plans for your life, time will just pass you by and you’ll wonder where all the time went. Who do you want to be? When do you want to get married? Before or after University? Kids before or after? How many do you want? What type of age gap do you want between your children? Where do you want to live? How will you get there? These are all really serious questions that you need to think about so that you progress and grow through life in a strategic way and you won't just live life, wandering aimlessly.
2. Find some mentors. and I advise you to find at least two type of mentors. a spiritual mentor and a career mentor, and the number one criteria for finding a mentor are that they are in a place where you want to be. I can't lie to you, I am finding it really hard to find mentors who are living today and who are in a place where I want to be, but I am continuously on the lookout.
Your spiritual mentor should be someone who spiritually is in a place where you want to be. if you want to memorise the Qur'an, then they must have memorised the Qur'an, if you want to fast every other day then they must be someone who also fasts every other day, and likewise, your career mentor should be someone already in that position. If you want to be a surgeon, a head teacher, or an entrepreneur then they too must be in that position.
When I was growing up, I really hated people knowing I needed help. So I never used to ask for help or advice, and I wanted to learn and figure out everything by myself. That's fine and it can still work but it will always take you much longer to reach your destination. They say the fastest way to learn something, is to learn it from a master of that subject. Never be afraid of asking for help or teaming up with people, you’ll grow much quicker that way.
3. Lastly, gain experience and start gaining it now. What I mean by that is, after figuring out how you would like to add value to this world and finding out what you're calling is, start working towards it now. If you want to be a doctor, start volunteering in a hospital. If you want to be an engineer, start immersing yourself in that knowledge now and taking baby steps towards your career. The best thing you can do is volunteer with a company/group which specialises in your career or better yet specialises in hosting events in your industry. you’ll get to meet top people, you might find a mentor and you could create a name for yourself really early on.
These are the advice I would give to a younger me, or a young Muslim hijabi, looking for advice on how to live their life.
What other tips would you give to a younger sister, and if you are a younger sister what are you currently finding most difficult in life. I would love this place to become a community of Muslim women, so we can uplift one another and we can all be the greatest versions of our selves.
Assalam alaikum wa rahmatullahi
Your Sister, Lizzamah