Can Muslim women have it all?
Assalam Alaikum sisters, I hope you are all having a really good day today.
So today I want to answer the question, can Muslim women have it all?
And the short answer is…YES…but not all at the same time.
I believe a Muslim's woman’s role and responsibilities are divided into 4.
Self-development, this is where you work on your self, learn a new language or a new skill, develop yourself as a person, and just become overall a much better person, emotionally, spiritually and physically.
Then there's your career, this is pretty self-explanatory but its the part of your life when you work on your financial side. And there may not even be a financial gain, if for example your in the non-profit sector, human rights sector, then it's really about progressing in your chosen field. Progressing on the path that you have decided you will be adding value to the world. You could choose to start a business you could start a hijab store, selling hijabs or Muslim scarfs, cupcake store, selling cupcakes. You could even choose to sell a service, skill or talent that you have for offer.
The homemaker section, this comes down to your home and your marriage. Keeping the house clean and pristine, keeping all your husband's clothes washed ironed and pressed. Making sure Bills are paid on time, light bulbs are working. This is the parts of your life that come down to managing and maintaining your household.
Parenting, this is all about the children and your responsibility as a mother, and fulfilling your children emotionally, spending enough time with them.
Now, this is how I believe a Muslim woman’s life is divided, into these 4 areas, and I believe you can really only perfect two at a time. IF you try to perfect any more than this, then the quality of all of them will be compromised. and this isn't to say if you focused on two areas then you won’t work on the other areas you can, but just not at the same pace as the other two.
So, for example, I myself at the moment am focused on the areas of parenting and my career, well my business really. I spent a lot of my younger years really focused on my self-development internally, so I really worked on my character, my faith, my love and recognition of Allah. but now I'm really focused and giving my children a sound and loving upbringing, which is extremely difficult i might add. And my second focus is my business. I'm focused really growing my business and delivering value to the world.
I'm particularly not focused on homemaking because I absolutely abhor cooking and cleaning, essentially I see it as a waste of my valuable time, but that's not to put down that responsibility or belittle it, its just not for me but it could be a responsibility that a lot of women enjoy and there is absolutely nothing wrong that.
So I believe every woman should be focussing on two areas of her life, including you;
Self-development - how to make yourself better.
Your career - how are you increasing value to the world.
Looking for the home and…
All of these areas can be outsourced except self-development. You could get a nanny or an au pair for your children, a cook and cleaner for your house and your partner could be bankrolling in the money whilst you wine and dine. But only you can work on your self, no one else can grow you internally, and ultimately this is how we are judged on the day of judgement, we are essentially judged on how well we self-developed in this world.
So what two areas are you focussing or going to start focussing on, let me know in the comments below, I really want this place to be a community or hardworking Muslim women who uplift one another to really be the be they can be and live a beautiful life, promised by Allah.
Assalam Alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu.
Your Sister, Lizzamah